Key Bible Passage(s):

Deut.6:4-7; Eph.6:1-3

Tier 1:

In a healthy, multi-generational Church context the question of how children and young people learn how to live as disciples of Christ is answered largely in the context of their relationship with their parents. This might sound hopelessly idealistic in a context where Church-groups, Christian camps and para-Church networks are often seen as the main engine for discipling children. But children are supposed to learn the dynamics of discipleship in the context of the relationship with their parent(s); and those dynamics are then transferred to our relationship with our God.

Tier 2:

This general observation is profoundly counter-cultural in the West, and will pit Christians against many of our society’s accepted norms and assumptions about what it means to be a parent and a child. We will need to untangle ourselves from the functional philosophy of parenting we have uncritically accepted, and re-think our whole vision of family life in the light of this amazing, good and wise Commandment. As we’ll see in the session, far more than we realise hangs in the balance.

Tier 3:

This is one of the most dynamic of the Commandments, and in some ways the most complex to navigate. In the main, that’s because the relationship between parents(s) and their child(ren) isn’t a static thing. Honouring parents looks different as everyone grows older and as the dynamics of responsibility shift between generations. There is often a lot of history to be navigated and redeemed. If people become Christians later in life, this can one of the most pastorally difficult of the Commandments to address.

Elsewhere on this website, we address the question of family in far greater detail, and it may be worth spending some time reflecting on how the Bible’s vision for parenting and family re-shapes not just home life, but also our Church life.

So your hope as a parent is not found in your power, your wisdom, your character, your experience, or your success, but in this one thing alone: the presence of your Lord. The Creator, Savior, Almighty, Sovereign King is with you. Let your heart rest. You are not in this parenting drama alone. Your potential is greater than the size of your weaknesses, because the One who is without weakness is with you, and he does his best work through those who admit that they are weak but in weakness still heed his call.

Paul Tripp

Group Discussion:

What is the relationship between the family and the Church? How should children / youth work connect with the devotional life of a family? How can MIE support children and parents in keeping this commandment?

How does ‘the promise’ as a motivation to keep this Commandment (Eph.6:2-3)?

What is it about a Biblical view of parenting that means it can be so joyful (Prov.23:24-25)?

How would you support someone who realised this hasn’t shaped their vision of parenting?

and later in the session:

In what kind of ways can the parent / child relationship break down as children grow into adults? 

How do parents make it hard to honour them as they grow older?  How can we continue to honour them in spite of this?  ...or can we?

What about if parents aren’t honourable?  ...or if as they grow older, children no longer honour their parents?

At what point does the 5th Commandment become mere fantasy!?  What do you do then?

...what about situations of neglect or abuse?

Homework:

Over this half-term (this is the last week) we are working to memorise Matthew 5:17-20. You will have to keep refreshing Matt.5:1-16, Matt.6:5-15 and Matt.7:7-12 whilst you do this.

(we’ll memorise the whole of the Sermon on the Mount over the 3 years of DTP)

To Be A Christian: Q&A 300-306

keep an anger journal throughout this week...

what triggers you? …and how badly? [0 (mild irritation) – 10 (lose control!)]

can you spot any patterns?  how did you calm down?